The Perfect Fig

The Perfect Fig

by | Dec 7, 2023 | Book Reviews

The Perfect Fig

Review by Glenda

The Perfect Fig – Short stories from England and Italy by S.M.Walker

Self-published

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I reached in for an apple and pulled out a fig. A perfect fig!

 

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“I don’t review self-published authors.” Was an email I received several months ago. I had sent a request to a notable reviewer in hopes of luring them in with promises of chocolate chip cookies and fancy wine in exchange for their honest opinion of my book. 

I had stepped foot into ‘self-published’ snobbery.

“Why is this?” I asked myself. So I purchased a couple of self-published books and then I opened them and then I read them and then I thought “OH GOD! We are horrible!” and then I understood why I got that email.

Well, no, to be fair, WE are not ALL horrible, but I have stopped buying physical ‘self-published’ and have started downloading these books on my Kindle. I want to be supportive of my fellow littérateurs but the truth is, not all of us who love to write, know how to write well. I have limited space for physical books and being that I’m fifty-six and more than halfway through my life, I have limited time to read. I’m picky about where I invest it. So, I reach my hand in and out of these digitials like Eve, searching for a perfect apple to chomp on. If it’s a bad bit I don’t bother biting more and I unload and pick another.

A month ago I found a fig, I put it in my mouth and bit, and then I bit again, and then I savored and then I bit again and then I licked all of the juicy bits running down my arm and then I jumped up from my easy chair,  ‘YUM! DELICIOUS! HOORAY!” I shouted waving my sticky hands in the air.

“You are shaking the whole trailer.” Haney pointed out.

“But you don’t understand! She knows how to write! It’s brilliant! It’s bloody brilliant, that ending!

He rolled his eyes at me, stuck a sausage in his mouth,  clicked the tv to TSN to, and started watching football. 

I sat back down and started another story.

I’m an impatient reader, and it was as if Walker knew this and saved me. Her short stories are crafted well and are brisk, easy, and entertaining! Flash fiction in the finest fig quality!

Walker’s brit wit snaps crisply and she puts the dot on the Epic ‘i’.  I don’t know if I want to peek inside of her mind or flee from it. How she pulled some of those endings had me cheering with glee and trembling at the exact moment. 

Not every story had that exact impact yet there was something in each that resonated with this Canadian reader and it had me longing for more!

I purchased not one but 3 physical copies after I read it. This little book will suit very well in my library and I will pull it out for visitors when they are poking around for a quick read. I sent one to my mum who also appreciates a chuckle and I’ve kept one aside to give away.

Walker priced the book well for me to share her work with others. I commend her for her selected price point.

The cover was eye-catching enough to want to peek inside and it suited the title perfectly. I’m currently re-reading the little stories and then I shall move on to her next book.

Thank you for writing The Perfect Fig, S.M. Walker, I will enjoy it over and over again!

I feel quite sorry for the person who doesn’t review self-published. They lost out reading this little gem and I’m thrilled that I can honor a fellow self-published author with a five-star, raving review!

Click to buy The Perfect Fig

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lker

Self-published.

Click to buy The Perfect Fig

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Tip Tuesdays at Corky’s

Tip Tuesdays at Corky’s

by | Oct 30, 2023 | Blog

 

Do Gooders Just Want to Do Good!

The story behind Tip Tuesdays at Corky’s.

Note… Spinning on a Barstool spoilers are included, don’t read if you intend on reading the book without spoilers!

 I never knew the extent of the needs of our youth in Chilliwack until I met Daryl. In a round about way it’s because of him. So, Thank you Daryl!

 

 If you’ve read Spinning on a Barstool you will be well aware of the homeless situation in the City of Chilliwack BC. Inspired and Funded by Daryl and investments made by Haney and myself we had our sights set on eradicating homelessness by working with our youth before they became homeless. This was the intention of the Foundation of Hope. As the Foundation was waiting for registration and funds to be released through Fintrac, I investigated and explored the deepest needs and what our City was doing to address them. Many programs were already in place funding was missing. Two places touched my heart, the Schools and The Cyrus Center. 

It was when we went and spoke with our schools that we comprehended the state some of their students were in. I won’t go into detail here, please read Spinning on a Barstool for a deeper perspective. Along the way, I found Cyrus Center and I saw what they were doing and I heard from others, some of the situations the youth have found themselves in and their needs. I won’t go into private details. There are many, many people in Chilliwack doing many great things. Reaching out to give a hand up to our youth who are hurt. Poverty and the problems within that are real, and they exist here.

When the Foundation of Hope didn’t turn out as planned, when Daryl didn’t turn out to be who he portrayed himself to be, the sorrow was magnificent. The hope, the funding, and the aid were gone, but the problem wasn’t.

After I brushed my off my ego and washed off the dried snot stuck to my face I started writing Spinning on a Barstool. Its intent was to protect the Canadian people from Daryl (and perhaps people like Daryl) but I had a bigger desire, to do what we were planning! To help our youth, and to bring attention to their needs. Homelessness is still an issue, If we work to aid youth to prevent them from becoming homeless then our future looks better. Why not try?

What can I do?

I’m a waitress in a pub, clearly not educated in matters such as these!

But the problem still exists and it natters against my soul.

The majority of the profits of Spinning on a Barstool have been designated to aid in the prevention of homelessness but it’s slow going. Profits happen after the expenses are paid. The expense to put the book out was quite substantial and we need to sell a large number of books before it turns a profit, this hasn’t happened yet. I have hope 😀 There is $100 in Hopes’ Project’s account, donated by a couple of ladies at the pub who have the same desire I do. In the meantime, the problem still exists.

Last November I had the idea to fill the Christmas stockings and the  ‘shoe closet’ of the school by donating all of my tips on Tuesdays through the month of November. The response was enormous! It was AMAZING! Elderly people brought in their extra loonies and toonies and people came specifically to hand me hundreds of their own money to give to the school on their behalf. One of our former servers Nikki, got wind of it and took her enthusiasm to her new place of employment CamTran and they got on board. I was so busy at work I couldn’t keep up…

 TO THE RESCUE … TINA!!!

“I’ll give up my day off Glenda! I’ll come and help you!”

Oh God, I needed it too!… together we tackled the rest of the Tuesdays and at the end of November our customers had donated over $3600! With another $2200 added from the generosity of Cam Tran’s employee’s

The school filled the shoe closet. Gym strip and running shoes and toiletries and food gift cards were purchased by the school with these funds to help any of their students in need throughout the year. And Christmas Stockings were filled! And Corky’s Customers did that! It was amazing!

Last week Tina said, “Are we doing it again Glenda?”

I said, “ are you volunteering, I can’t do it on my own?”

“Absolutely!”

Tina is again giving up her day off to come and do Tip Tuesdays at Corky’s.

I’m grateful and I’m humbled.

This year we decided to split the funds exactly between the school and Cyrus Center. The intention is to help our Chilliwack youth and both do a spectacular job!

With this all said,

Everyone is invited to come and visit Tina and myself, every Tuesday through the month of November from 11 am until 4 pm.

100 % of our tips will be donated and we are happy to do it!

Please come and have fun with us! Bring in your extra rolls of quarters and dimes, if you are a cheque kind of person we can direct who you can make cheques out to. If you are a Chilliwack Business looking for an area to give, then get on board we would LOVE to have you!

Let’s surpass last year!

And let’s have an amazing time doing this!

And

THANK YOU!

Please follow our progress here;

  https://www.facebook.com/corkys.chilliwack

 

The Plastic Priest – Review by Glenda

The Plastic Priest – Review by Glenda

by | Oct 15, 2023 | Book Reviews

The Plastic Priest

Review by Glenda

 The Plastic Priest by Nicole Cushing

Published by Cemetery Dance Productions

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The Master and Margarita got married in Stepford, conceived their daughter Barbie, and Nicole Cushing wrote all about it in The Plastic Priest.

The description drew me to want to read this book. Where does a body go when the soul has been poisoned? I wanted to know.

The cover is dark and weird yet so is the book so it’s entirely fitting.

 

 

The Spiritual Stepford wife of God, lives in Owlingsville. Her name is Kaye. I met her, I’m sure a bit of her resides in each one of us.

Kaye is an Episcopal priest, married to her pagan husband Charlie. From the get go you expect a clash, you expect that the mind will be challenged with conflicting beliefs, conflicting thoughts, conflicting emotions, conflicting understanding of what it means to be human. It was all of this presented within well rounded characters and some lovely wit.

Cushing developed the characters in The Plastic Priest in a way that made this reader feel like she was sitting beside them, loving some, hating some and sometimes wanting to roll my eyes and tell some to ‘f’ right off. The pace of the novella was perfect.

While I loved the development of all the characters, Janus’ left me feeling like I was missing something. Maybe his was a little too abrupt or whimsical in his power? A bit of a jester more than a god? No doubt it was purposeful, but it made my mind stretch into the downward dog to grasp it and I’m a little lazy. That position hurts.

A philosophical thriller? A metaphysical memoir? I rated it a four out of five stars. If you love grappling with those who grapple with religion, you will enjoy this novella.

Thank you to Cemetery Dance Publications and NetGalley for the ARC. The views expressed are all mine, freely given. The Plastic Priest will be published Dec. 15, 2023 Keep your eye out for it!

 

 

The Road to Bone Hill Book Review by Glenda

The Road to Bone Hill Book Review by Glenda

by | Oct 1, 2023 | Book Reviews

The Road to Bone Hill

Review by Glenda

 The Road to Bone Hill by Kenton J. Moore

Published by Soul Forge Media

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Hello, is it mead you’re looking for?

Lionel Ritchie, started humming. The skull’s empty eye sockets blinked. I swear I saw a horn move. I entered a world I never knew existed…

 

 The Road to Bone Hill took this reader from the Coast of BC to the North of Kamloops in Canada. Invited by author Moore, I flew into his story, fuelled by a big bucket of honey and a restless spirit. I entered the world of mead.

I didn’t know I meaded it until I read it.

Moore both entertains and educates as he zips the reader through the process of mead-making. His attention to detail had me believing that I too, could make mead simply by following his instruction. At moments I wanted to. At moments I could smell the cotton candy air as he caramelized honey. At moments I could taste the words on my tongue. I drooled, it landed on the cover of the book, and I wiped. My husband asked what I was doing.

“Just reading. Do we have any mead anywhere? I have a sudden urge.”

“Mead?”

He looked at me blankly. He needed to read the book.

I appreciated the dip into history as Moore explored the French mead from the 1300’s. I thought it fascinating that one could drink essentially the same mead from that era and also interesting from a historical perspective, that a recipe copied from century to century still existed, giving me a small glimpse into their lives. As the book was an instruction book of Mead I think a deeper dip into Mead’s history may have accentuated the flavor, like salt on caramel.

The bones and the name on the cover made me say “Whattt?” and I was thoroughly pleased when Moore connected the cover to his story.

Moore avoids a book of dry instruction by dipping in and out of the ‘how to’s and into the ups and downs of his life. The result is a nicely paced book that had me flipping pages to see what would happen next.

Moore’s passion, his life, his know-how, and a couple of recipes are nicely contained in a paperback available on Amazon for 26.87 Canadian Dollars. If you are thinking you want to make mead, it’s an amazing price for his knowledge. Moore also seems to be a human you could reach out to via social media with any question. Indeed for the price of a couple of Big Macs, some fries, and a chocolate shake you could have his wisdom sitting on your bookshelf and his mind a Facebook click away.

While the information and Moore’s life were tied up into a well-worded bow, I had difficulty with the presentation from the layout/publishing aspect. While surprised that the photos contained inside were color, some of the photos were pixelated leaving the reader feeling that the publishing was on the low side. A couple of pages had off – centered text that seconded the first thought. The blurb on the back didn’t have the negative space surrounding the text that seemed in tune with a higher-quality publishing experience. I realize that color photos are not inexpensive, so I appreciate the idea. To push this idea to perfection it would have been ideal to see a paper quality that supported crisp color photography.

As I can see the book being pulled off the shelf of a Mead maker again and again and again, I can imagine a more durable cover would be forgiving to juice-covered fingertips. My drool marks didn’t wipe off.

Not yet available on Kindle, I’m quite sure this medium would be welcomed by all.

I rate the layout of the book at a 3 out of 5 and the inside information a solid 4 out of 5 with a strong encouragement to buy if you are looking at getting started in mead making. Moore’s experience, I feel, could save you a lot of time and money and it was just plain enjoyable to read.

 The Road to Bone Hill is a lively site see through the eyes of Moore. I enjoyed reading about parts of BC I have never visited and hearing some stories of his life as he navigated COVID and loss. Even if you have no desire to make mead but enjoy memoirs and biographies of regular people, I would recommend it.

Now I’m off to the liquor store to find a bottle of mead even if I don’t mead it ;P.

 

Click to buy The Road to Bone Hill
Cloud Cuckoo Land Review By Glenda

Cloud Cuckoo Land Review By Glenda

by | Sep 27, 2023 | Book Reviews

Cloud Cuckoo Land

Review by Glenda

Mamma I’m Coming Home!

 

The cover didn’t draw me to this book. The author did. I didn’t even read what the book was about before I purchased it. When I started it, it made my head spin and I scrunched up my face and went, “Whhhhaaat?” 

“What the heck, was this?”

Well I found out!

 

 

 

Momma, I’m coming home. The cry of the mythical ‘Cloud Cuckoo Land’ placed strategically within Doerr’s fictional ‘Cloud Cuckoo Land’ threads together five lives over eight centuries. It seems fitting that Ozzy Osborne sings its theme song!

You need the end to understand the beginning.

This happens in life quite often, you don’t understand why you are going through something, or why things are happening in the sequence they are. It is only afterward, when your eyes bounce down the timeline of life that it becomes clear. Sometimes amazingly clear. It is only then that you sigh in absolute wonder and breath in joy, ‘That’s it! That’s why!’ Holy hockey sticks! Bloody amazing!

I, like many of the ‘one-star’ reviews on Amazon, had difficulty with the beginning of Cloud Cuckoo Land. I felt like I was treading water in a sea of information. An ancient Greek story that I don’t care to read somehow on this stage with future Konstance and recent history Zeno with 5 kids in a play. What does the geeky autistic awkward antagonist in Seymour from 2020 have to do with a girl named Anna and the gentle ugly human, Omeir from 1439? How the heck were all these people in all of these eras going to connect?

Why am I reading about Constantinople? For ‘F’ sake. Can’t I just read Doerr’s beautiful prose in a simple story? Why is he pushing my mind to think? Instead of super simple he’s spooning Greek Text into my morning coffee, I really wasn’t sure how I felt about that!

My mind ached. I wanted to put it down.

But then the words of my best friend from 1940 whispered in my ear. “Glenda, keep reading. If you put it down you learn nothing. If you read to the end you may only understand 10 percent but that’s 10 percent more than you have if you put it down.

“Yes, Mortimer Adler. We’ve danced this dance before. I know what to do.”

I picked the book back up.

I continued.

Cloud Cuckoo Land was not a book to read anywhere but by myself in quiet with no distractions.

‘Holy hockey sticks’ started slapping midway. I wanted to read it quickly to get to the ending but that’s not what one does with a Doerr book.

Some books are a piece of Hubba Bubba. You unwrap it, put it in your mouth, chew quickly to extract all the flavor, and spit it out. Be done with it. A Doerr book is a piece of Worthers. Chocolate-coated Worthers with a crystal or two of sea salt on top. It is to be savored. And you must take time, if you bite through it quickly you will miss the pleasure of it.

Every character and even supporting characters in Doerr’s Cloud Cuckoo Land hit ‘Worther’ status. I was flying with Trusty Owl and blinking flies away with Moonlight and Tree. Classic Doerr! His words had me hearing the scratching in Seymour’s brain and feeling the Greek text under Anna’s fingers. I saw nature I’ve never seen, and will never see. Doerr created his own perambulator with words and had me walking, and touching, and feeling, and seeing and smelling and brilliantly he connected it all. This is a Five Star Book that I will keep in my library and read again and again.

You need the end to understand the beginning.

 

Click to buy Cloud Cuckoo Land